Highs and Lows...

After such a long wait until we finally got up to the Vineyard, and it sure was a mixed weekend.

Saturday was pretty good. Gen was with me at the farm and ran me down to Flinders Medical Centre, we called into F Troop (High Dependance 5F). It is really odd how much you bond with the team over a 10 day stay. My bandages had a bit of a tweek and Suzannah met Gen and I there. Gen headed back into town, Suz and I came back to the Farm. How good is it having the kids running the parents around...a big thank you to you both.

I have gone on a lot on this blog about the long, long nights, about pain and all the different treatments. With my Oesophagectomy operation now behind us, I naively thought the pain would simply get better and better day by day.

I have no idea why, but the nights can be so cruel. Last night was one of those. The pain killers didn't seem to even touch the problem, even though they are pretty serious.

At the moment I am on the "Hillbilly Heroin" as described in today's Sunday Mail. It's funny how I have been chatting to the various specialists over the past months and Tabitha (my Oncologist) was fully aware of its reputation.

OxyContin provides me my base protection while Endone tops up the peak pain. Panadol is being used increasingly as a background pain relief coverage too, they are starting to see huge benefits of Panadol in the mix.

Anyway, last night, or should I say early this morning, I was maxing out trying to get on top of the shocking back and chest pain. The feeling of being so loaded up on this stuff is not good. I ended up walking in circles around in the house.

Even writing this blog is a task. I nod off all the time and my train of thought is lost constantly.

The Sunday Mail article "The rising toll of 'Hillbilly Heroin'" was particularly interesting given I form part of these stats. Let me assure you though, the second this pain starts to drop away, I'll be off it.

After an absolute nightmare of a night, for relief I ended up having a long hot shower, and then got dressed and had a really early breakfast. Eventually Sylv was ready to get up so I got her to come for a walk.

Walking the Farm is such a joy, even when puffing and panting. The front gate is 1.6km from the house so it is a great walk there and back. I was feeling very weak but took it real easy and by the time we got back I was definitely feeling in better spirits.

This afternoon the sun came out and wind dropped. It was just magic. We have a sun room type area with a clear roof and I was able to get comfortable in the sun, wow, oh what a feeling. So I did manage to get some sleep albeit in very short events, but hey, I need my sleep and I'll take what I can get at the moment.

Food. Tiny serves all day. Very odd but my new normal. There has been massive amounts of literature on what to eat, how often and the sample meals provide a much needed prompt to mix it up a bit.

I must say, this is a most frustrating, incredibly challenging time for me. I know what I have to do, and I am focussed on doing that. I will be pleased when the pain drops away a bit.

This was a classic weekend of recovery. I had so much that I intended to do and got nothing done. Many emails remain unanswered, SMS's and letters, but there again my priority now is to give my body as much help as I can in rebuilding, it has gone through a lot.