Long Days, still tanking.....

I am so busy being sick, I am getting nothing done at all.

All those letters I need to respond to from so many friends and acquaintances. I have stuff everywhere; books, notes, magazines and things I just want to read, respond to and file.

I was flat out just having soup for lunch. Add a trip to the naturopath , the Chemist and back to Black Beauty 2 to sleep again, wow, I'm so busy.

This week demonstrates the power of radiotherapy, and Chemotherapy. Clearly it works. If there was any doubt that the impact of these treatments run on and continue to escalate after the treatment ceases, then I can provide a testimony to reassure any disbelievers.

Tonight my cough has taken a new depth, most impressive, and everything rattles. Throat, yes I am well aware of my throat. Mouth, that grenade that went off this time last night has ensured that today was a quiet and lay low day.

I want to get this blog done before dinner, let me spare you the detail of that exercise tonight. I must say that I am determined to hold my weight so that once this period passes (hopefully by the end of this weekend),  I will be far better placed to get fit for the operation.

My hard disk with all the movies doesn't work for some reason so I have been starved of my Sons of Anarchy and other addictive series. Marcus and the IT guys are so under the pump with all the work stuff that we are installing. The breakthrough is that Nat (one of our programmers who is doing VirtualAgent programming...some really cool stuff) has also given me a memory stick via Suz a few seconds ago...I wonder what is on that?

Speaking of work...we are commissioning some seriously good technology innovation at the moment. Way back in earlier blogs I have talked about the fact we are in the midst of the biggest investment ever into changing our business model. Thankfully that strategy and funding was all signed off well before finding out I was crook.

I am chaffing at the bit to get back into changing the rules with our new selling machine, VirtualAgent 2. We should be in a position to reassert the leadership role we enjoyed from around 1998 to 2005 after VirtualAgent was first released and patented.

The changed market conditions, combined with a quantum leap in online technologies, provides us a generational opportunity. We led the country on mobile technology, and most notably you will recall we were the first agency Nationally (probably globally) to harness SMS for marketing of property. Today there wouldn't be an agency in Australia that hasn't got SMS in their marketing mix. Leap frogging current practices excites me.

Stop all this work talk!!

I have had many lectures about forgetting work and focussing on my health. Writing this blog tonight I ask myself, "why have I just drifted off into all this work stuff?"

Is it a coincidence that amongst my most challenging days, like today, my mind goes back to this. Maybe it is my way of dealing with the pain. Distractions?

Cancer definitely has my full attention, but I think it is time to stop beating myself up when my mind wanders off to work things as it has tonight (and as it did today).

I am due to check in with Janine tonight but I really will not be able to do it. My mouth is so sore. But when I do, later in the week, I am going to get her view on why I suddenly am thinking work, at a time like this!

Sleep. Last night I thought I had slept right through the night, I got up cautiously (learnt that getting up suddenly can take a very long time to recover with all the acid), went to the loo, and checked my mobile for the time 12.35am!!

I won't bore you with the details, but these are LONG DAYS, and long nights.

I will remember this, it is a new experience for me. My life has been one of rushing. One where Tanja couldn't get a razor blade wedged between appointments. So again, more experiences.

How am I feeling? Mentally... yeah, strong. Physically...trashed.

How are the family holding up?

Sylvia  looks exhausted, but she has a certain glow. I think facing her own fears and challenges and meeting them seems to be giving her some satisfaction. We sure have had a role reversal, she tosses and turns often at night, while I am mentally chilled and just dealing with the pain stuff.

The girls? They seem genuinely pumped. Not sure what they are doing but given how they have all been thrown into this, I am impressed.

They have been running me around, checking in constantly and I have felt the love too. Pretty good effort, and the "novelty" of all this has well and truly worn off now.

No signs of fighting, not sure why? We have always been a family with spunk and we have all had our own opinions. Debate has been a feature of our time together, sort of a family sport.

Well, as an observer and as the dependent, either they are very good at hiding issues from me, or they are just into it, and appear to be enjoying the new challenges. The other concern I had was whether the team would see them as the "Toop Princesses." Once again, I am in no position to know if that is how they are perceived or not, but it is not the feeling I get.

My instincts have always been good (my secret weapon when I am selling), and I sense the team are enjoying having them around to pitch in and help wherever needed. It doesn't help of course when Suz rocks up in my baby Porsche. She loves that thing, it needs driving and imagine being back in Sydney going to work on a bus!! Method in my madness.

Enough of all this dribble. More jokes maybe tomorrow. Some more rippers. Blog too long? If the blogs are too long and boring, click the x. Instant fix.

Big hug to all of you...xxxx