Hospital or eat...eat!

Sitting here at the kitchen bench, feeding myself one small table spoon (note not soup spoon) at a time. I didn't think you could chew mush type soup? You can.

Each swallow is a victory, pretty ugly scene actually but I won't go into the grimy detail of reflux and hiccups and belching...whoops I guess I just did. 

As a treat, my little reward, Gen picked up a Kitchener bun at the Norwood Bakery on the way home. I have no idea whether I will be able to get that down but just the thought of it, and looking at it as I sit here for an hour eating a bowl of soup, this ritual serves as motivation to get to the bottom of my plate of soup.

The goal posts continue to move. After a really ugly start to the day I finally rang Tabitha to have a chat. She is awesome. 

I got the you must eat, and get fluids or it is off to Hospital ASAP. While I appreciate the offer, there is no way I am going to take up valuable bed space. I am very focussed on keeping nutrients flowing, and the thought of a feeding tube is a great motivator/enabler. If it takes 2 hours to get that soup down, I am there.

So get this. Started on non prescription pain killer tablets, quickly migrated to prescription tablets. Then if you have been following the blogs I had a massive breakthrough with those slow release OxyContin, and life was instantly awesome. I would have to check, but from memory they did the trick for a few weeks. A return to getting sleep.

I haven't been recording this but about a week ago I went from 10mg to 15 for the nights, topped up with the morphine as required. The top up has gone from once a day, to 4 times last night, and several times today. 

Well I can report tonight I step up to 25mg of OxyContin, plus morphine as required and we are potentially heading to 30+ tomorrow. My senses are dull (many would argue that has little to do with cancer), and today I really just dozed all day.

Am I becoming a druggy, the Doc's assure that I am not, and frankly, I continue to test things every couple of days. There is NO DOUBT what so ever that the drugs are needed, I will never forget that morning feeling over the past days when I get up and the acid just floods my system. Gagging is a noise Sylv may never forget either I suspect. 

Todays Award. Bill...you take the award today mate. Black Beauty 2 has had a flogging, and has provided me with a place to retreat. If you haven't been really sick, that may be a foreign concept. The Farm was doing that for me, but given it is not safe being up there alone, that chair in town has given me that same feeling of a personal space, a place to retreat that is mine. Talking in riddles to most, but some of you will get what I am going on about.

So...best investment so far on my journey, (excluding Black Beauty on the grounds of $$$) and  in feeling good, is definitely that chair. Getting it built so quickly was remarkable, and I know we consumers should think further ahead, but frankly, I never thought about the non chemical side effects of Cancer treatment. To find personal place to retreat and to get comfortable is making this week bearable. Thanks Bill, and to all your team at Posture Care Chair Company who just made this happen.

Want more bad jokes? OK. 

How polite is this!!!
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.
 
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed herlittle woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
 
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well
 
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.
 
He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
 
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
 
He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price!"


 This is not really up to speed Looch...but here goes anyway...


Hi Anthony, thinking of you and willing you with strength to get through this week, next week and on and on...hope you get a giggle out of this one...Luv Looch x
A Glaswegian is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes
upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the
water and subsequently bumps into the preacher....
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol,
whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Aye, I am.'
So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'
The drunk replies, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a
little longer.
He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Brother, have you found
Jesus?'
The drunk again answers, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the
water again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds
and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found
Jesus?'
 
(Are you ready for this????)
 
 
The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher,
'Are ye sure this is where he fell in?